Just Dave

When I first started school I was "DAVID" (yes, all caps, scrawled in large block letters--that's how I learned to write before kindergarten).

As I progressed through the lower elementary grades and we moved here and there, I was David C and then, even David Ch because there were so many other kids named David.

When I reached the third grade, I stood in front of my class and announced to group of similarly precocious kids that from that point I was to be known as "DC." They all obliged and I have notes and papers from that time made out to DC.

Well, that stuck for about a year until my family moved again, and then, I was the only David in the class, so I reverted, but by this time I had full command of upper and lower case letters.

Through all the pre-college years, I did have other nick names, some which were more consistently used than the various versions of my given name. For example, among my guy friends and especially on the baseball field, I was typically known by my last name or various plays off of it: Chili Dog, Chili, Chil etc.

By the time I reached high school (and after we moved again), to most everyone I was Dave. I honestly don’t know how it happened, but from that point until I got married, I was definitely Dave.

When I got married, for some reason, people who had not known me before, people who only knew me because they knew my now soon-to-be-ex, people whom I saw only at Christmas and Easter and who wrote glowing, adjective filled thank you notes for gifts they stuck away in a closet, started calling me DAVID (again, all caps, whether written or spoken). I didn't object. I didn't care, and so among this select few who never really knew me anyway, I was never anything but DAVID.

Sometimes, rough waters help you rediscover your real identity, and through some significant and recent relational disappointments, I'm Dave again. Of course, formally, I'm David. Birth certificate. Various licenses. Even in gold leaf on my collection of Bibles. I suppose that to my soon-to-be-ex, I'll always be "DAVID," or "DAVID!" or even, "DAMMIT DAVID!!," but I think I prefer Dave. Just Dave.